Wednesday, February 08, 2006

My very own pity party

Tonight I had to attend a meeting to prepare for Big Brother's Confirmation next month. The meeting was run by the CCD Director and the way things are in this parish, the school kids are treated as an afterthought. For example, only the CCD kids were invited to the Generation Life program that's scheduled later this spring. (Amy, if you're reading, I'm not saying that this is everywhere, but in this parish it's always like this.)

So I sat there at a poorly-attended meeting, with no school parents I knew in the room, watching a video aimed at teenagers about what would happen at Confirmation Mass. And I had plenty of time to sulk and stew about the way things have happened.

It's been nice to be so welcomed in our "old" parish, but there's a big hole in my Sunday morning when I'm not in the choir. I miss singing, I miss playing, I miss the children in the choir, and the choir director, and seeing my Big Kids participate in Mass as choir members and altar servers.

There's infighting in the PTA, and people are quitting all over the place. I just want the kids to end their time in this school on a positive note, and I don't think that's going to happen. All the feelings of hurt and anger that I thought I had moved past came back at me tonight and nearly knocked me over.

I guess all the milestones, like Confirmation, are going to be downers this year.

In some ways, I can't wait to get out of there. I wish it was over now.

5 comments:

Steve said...

Barb,
What can be done to change things? Who needs to know about the deterioration of morale? This sounds like the perfect time for a group of concerned parents to talk to the Diocese if you ask me.

I dont know the whole histoy, so pardon me if I re-hash roads already taken and well worn, but y'all shouldnt take things lying down. If you've already taken things to the Parish Vicar, go to the diocese.If that doesnt work, go to the arch-bishop (I am perhaps mistakenly assuming there is one for the Delaware Valley area), if that doesn't work, I think the parents need to organize and protest. Dont take this kind of cr*p without a fight!

These are your children your talking about, it's their future, their impression of the Church as a whole that is being affected, and if the program is not working, if noone is happy with it, then whoever is running the program needs to know THEY are the ones who are DESTROYING THE CHURCH.

mamagiglio said...

Oh, Barb, I'm so sorry. Change is so hard, especially when you've done everything you can do to keep your parish and school open.

Keep praying, keep talking to God about all of this. There is a reason why He permitted the closing of the kids' school. Maybe He'll let you in on it sooner rather than later.

Wish I could get down there for a mocha. Praying for you...

mamagiglio said...

Don't forget to pray for those who are really getting on your nerves (like your bishop). A priest advised me once when I had and anger problem to pray that the Lord might bring the person I was angry with to greater glory than He would bring me. Within a week or two of saying that short prayer every time I felt the anger rising up, the anger stopped rising up. And don't let the evil one use this disappointing time as an opportuntiy to drive a small wedge between you and the Lord.

OK. I think that's all for now.

martha said...

I agree with mamgiglio. I've been through rifts in my own church, and all I can say is; pray for those who hurt you. I quickly found that when I didn't, that I was eventually ensnared into the very behaviour I was so apalled by. I think this is why we are urged to forgive and not judge, and pray for enemies. We all have the seeds of our "enemies" within us. This is easier said than done, but I think if you resolve yourself to pray this way, eventually God will use it to heal. My prayers are with you as well. Peace.

Kathleen said...

Pity for one isn't such a bad thing...it is important to express the real grief you feel for you, your spouse, children and community. It is a sad process just the same.
There must be the tearing down in order to build up.
...in Him all things are made new...
Do not lose heart, but be lifted and supported by the many sisters and brothers in St. Francis and St. Clare..
Peace little sister...your heart shall sing again...hopefully in a church where you have been missed...