His first call was to my uncle, who happens to be a Franciscan priest (Franciscan runs in the family). My uncle lives by the motto "Brevity is the soul of wit." If you're not into long homilies, visit his parish. He says what has to be said and gets it done in under five minutes.
I can only guess at what my uncle said during this phone call, which probably took no longer than 90 seconds. But I heard Little Brother's end of it, so I'm reconstructing the other side:
Little Brother: Hi, Uncle. This is Little Brother. Thank you for the birthday card.
Uncle: You're welcome! Happy birthday!
Little Brother: Thanks. I hope you're feeling better. (My uncle has pneumonia).
Little Brother: Bye.
I'm not going to have to worry about this kid tying up the phone lines.