Thursday, May 24, 2012

How's It Going?

I get asked that a lot.

I look like I'm perfectly fine, except during a hot flash (at least a dozen a day) when I more closely resemble a tomato.

As of last Wednesday, I am allowed behind the wheel.

That's where the trouble started.

When you tell someone like me that she can get back behind the wheel, she will probably go right back to her old tricks:  6 errands in one morning because 3 of them were "on the way."

I'm not doing anything I'm not allowed to do, but I seem to be doing too much of the stuff that I am allowed to do.

And therefore, even though I look perfectly fine on the outside, I'm exhausted by this point in the afternoon--even on a day when I don't do too much.

I think I was better off when I wasn't allowed to drive, because I was necessarily limited in things I could do by where I could do things.  Clearly I am way too much of a Type A personality to do recuperation well.

TheDad is awfully good about the fact that he called last night at 7:30 and asked me to have the kids turn on the pool filter, waking me up when the phone rang--and then I hung up the phone and completely forgot about the pool.  "You're still healing," he reminds me patiently.

I keep forgetting about that until I find myself trying to stay awake at 3 in the afternoon and know that the next 6 hours are going to be a struggle.

Because really, except for the scar, which is always covered by my clothing, I look perfectly fine on the outside.

You know what I'm learning?  You can't judge someone who is ambling across a parking lot, right in your path.  You can't assume that because they look perfectly fine on the outside, they're fine on the inside too.  You can't assume that walking doesn't hurt them or that they have the energy to walk faster than that.

I hope I remember that even when I do have the energy to walk faster.


Bean said...

It sure takes a lot of patience while waiting for the body to heal.
Great observation about judging, we simply do NOT know what another is going through simply by looking at them. Imagine those who seem cheerful all of the time but may be hiding a broken heart, we just never know, and therefore must strive to have patience and understanding with others and with ourselves :)
Easier said than done.
Blessings to you,


Barbara said...

I remember those days. And you are the only person who can say "I must stop now." Go sit down. Feet up. Eyes closed. For the sake of tomorrow.

Praying for you.

forties@heart said...

That is so true, I walk with crutches, as I have a serious back injury, it's amazing how differently people treat you with them, than when I don't use them and have to walk very slowly. I hope you heal quickly. Love your blog. From a new Franciscan oblate sister xx

Michelle said...

Rest! Nap without guilt (I'm still working on that one...)

One of those frog towels for the tomato moments? Incredibly cool!

Sara said...

Lots of mom friends recovering from surgery, and they're all impatient and overdoing it! Give yourself a break---nap, forgive yourself, keep asking your kids to help(!), Don't plan to do more than 1 essential out-of-house tast per day! Doing too much just drags out the exhaustion. Praying for you!

Mimi said...

It's so hard because we want to will ourselves to be well, and we cannot. Just know it is ok to take time and you have my prayers and gentle hugs.

Sarah Oldham said...

I'm exactly the same way . . .tell me I can't do something I'm itching to do it and everything else the minute I can! More prayers heading your way . . . I had three c-sections to recover from (nothing but a babe taken out, but still . . . ouch!!). I don't envy you the healing process, but I envy you the insight! I, too, forget that others may appear quite well on the surface . . . mea culpa!

Love and aloha to you!