A Holiday By Any Other Name

It's that time of year again, and this year I'm just tired of it. This morning's paper carried the announcement that my township will be lighting its "Holiday Tree" later this week.

At least they waited until December, but that's a rant for another day.

Yes, they called it a "Holiday Tree" in the announcement. But honestly, whom do they think they're fooling? Santa's going to arrive (via fire truck, not reindeer sleigh) and there will probably be candy canes. That, plus the decorated tree and musical entertainment by the middle-school chorus gives everyone the first clue:  this is not Labor Day.

Call it what you want; we all know what the holiday in question is. And I don't think that ranting about the problem is going to fix it.

This Advent and Christmas season, I encourage you to remember the reason for the season, cheesy though that expression may be.

Take time to listen to some sacred music. My Advent soundtrack this year, in addition to the rehearsal music for the Festival of Lessons and Carols in which I'm participating, is Advent at Ephesus. I got my copy a week ago; today I'll listen to it for the first time. If a church or school near you is hosting a Festival of Lessons and Carols, don't miss it!

Light the Advent wreath.

Study the Gospel of Luke.

Make a Jesse Tree.

Decorate gradually, and keep those decorations up past December 26. We don't "undecorate" around here until after Epiphany.

Pray.

And have some fun. Watch the Christmas specials on TV or DVD. Don't miss Charlie Brown or the Grinch.

I wish you a blessed Advent and Christmas season!

Advent: Sublime, Ridiculous and Sentimental

In honor of Gaudete Sunday, I brought out the Christmas decorations yesterday.  I used only about half of what I usually do, though I will bring other things out of the box if my family asks for them.  (At this point, I'm wondering what decorations are holiday "musts" for them, and which ones can go.)

My collection of handmade Christmas trees surrounds the empty manger.

We've had the Advent wreath and the empty stable out since the first Sunday of Advent.  The trees went up over the weekend.

This is our Advent wreath.  A couple of years ago, my mother-in-law found this wreath among her Christmas decorations.  It's the one they used when my husband and his brother were kids.  We'll use it until those plastic greens fall apart (each year we lose a little more of it.)

That's really what Christmas decorations are all about--the sentimental value (like each and every tree pictured with my manger).  My most precious Christmas ornaments are not the pricey Belleek ball or the Lenox "baby's first Christmas" giraffe.  The ones I treasure most are the popsicle-stick picture frames with my Big Kids' pre-K pictures in them.  The kids' favorites are the ceramic pierogi and the penguins, and they fight to see whose penguin can claim the highest spot on the tree.  It wouldn't be Christmas decorating without that battle, which is why our tree did not go up on "Pink Candle Sunday" this year.  Big Brother will be home by the weekend, and we'll get it done then.

Here's one item that's not going to last beyond this holiday season:  Snowman In a Bowl.

Little Brother picked this up at Lunch with Santa on Saturday.  It's a substance with the consistency of egg white.  You pour it out of the little snowman jar.  Eyes and nose come out of the jar too.  The jar lid is the little hat, which you then pop into the bowl.  12 hours after opening this, it's still jiggly and viscuous.  I'm glad I gave him a dollar-store bowl that I don't mind sacrificing, because I do not know what is IN this stuff, but it's pretty disgusting, especially when Little Brother constantly picks up and relocates the hat.

Prepare

This is from 2006.  No paper chain anymore!

It's time to get ready...it's Advent.

This weekend, my folk group was off duty, and my family attended Mass at the school parish. Father began the homily by confiding that he really wished that if Christ were to return during his lifetime, that He would find Father serving the poor or visiting the sick or celebrating Mass with due reverence--but he really fears that Christ would instead find him in the middle of a traffic jam.

It was a good point. Do we live our lives by making an effort to do our best wherever we are? Even in traffic?

Although I had time today to get my house ready for Advent, I don't feel ready. The wreath is on the table, and we lit the candle before dinner. The empty manger is in the place of honor in the living room, all by itself except for the stained-glass picture my dad recently made me (I need to find a good place to display that.)

The Big Kids helped TheDad put up the Christmas lights, which I could have waited for, but we had to take advantage of the fabulous weather today. I am calling it "no jacket November."

The house is ready for Advent, but the mom is not. I have been busy getting ready for the Festival of Lessons and Carols, and taking Little Brother to rehearsals so he can get ready to perform in Pippin. I haven't done any thinking whatsoever about getting ready for Christmas, which is pretty much fine with me.  I'm sure it wouldn't be fine with the kids, the cousins, or the grandparents, however.  And sooner or later people around here will want the tree up, even through I am lobbying to postpone that activity.  Usually we do the tree on Gaudete Sunday ("Pink candle Sunday") but since Big Brother will return from college on the 16th, and there is a full 4th week of Advent this year, I'd like to do the tree after he gets back.  It's more fun to have all the kids there, fighting over whose ornament gets the tippy-top of the tree and who gets to hang the ceramic pierogi.

For the moment, I'm unprepared.  I'll get there, though.  Wouldn't want Jesus to catch me while I'm sitting in traffic.

Last Thing on the List

There is SO MUCH on the list right now.
Haircuts for me and Little Brother
Wrap gifts
Do Tons o'Laundry
Freelance work here and here
And, of course, all the baking

So when the Christmas tree went dark the other night, I left it for another day. I think it's going to be left for a few more days unless someone else decides they want to troubleshoot the extension-cord situation. The tree's pretty without lights--prettier with lights, but it's loaded with colorful ornaments and that might just have to do.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Every year that weather permits, our Secular Franciscan Fraternity hosts a "Live Nativity at Greccio" celebration.

Last time we had it, it was in a new place, indoors, without live animals, but we had 117 people to enjoy the Live Nativity. This year, it's going to be even more different.

It will no longer simply be a Live Nativity, but will be incorporated into our parish's "Catholics Come Home" Christmas Carol Festival. That means that it's going to turn into a Battle of the Bands of sorts, with all 3 parish ensembles (Religious Education Kids' Choir, Adult Choir, and Folk Group) all participating.

A few diehard Greccio participants have bowed out this year--the changes are just too much for them. I kind of want to join them, but I'm bound to hang in there with both the Folk Group and the Secular Franciscans. And I do have to say that I'm relieved for us Seculars, because the membership in general is getting up in age and it's hard for many of them do to much to help with the event. I was getting pretty tired of handling most if it myself. This year, my role is much more limited, and those SFOs who are physically able will bring cookies and help hand out (and collect) costumes.

Tonight I have to go over to the church to represent the Folk Group as we do a walk-through of the whole event to figure out how long it will take. I know it's going to be a bittersweet time. I'm going to have to compromise, as if I haven't done enough of that already with this event and this parish merger.

And in the end I'm going to have to hope that this event touches the hearts of those attending and those participating. After all, "that's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown."

Jolly Old St. Nicholas

We're getting used to life as a family of 4 now that Big Brother has been living on campus for 4 months. Not that we don't miss him, but we're just getting used to the different routine.

And then something comes along and smacks you in the head. For me, this week, it was St. Nicholas.

I always get the kids a treat for St. Nicholas Day, and put it in their shoe near their bedroom doors. (Parents get a treat as well. Rumor has it that my treat this year will be a Lindt dark chocolate with sea salt bar. Yum. But I digress.) So when I was in the grocery store the other day, I remembered that I needed to get busy shopping for those little treats.

Then I remembered that one of my kids is not going to be here with his shoe outside his door. It's almost worse than not having him here for family dinner or Sunday Mass.

Dorm security being what it is in his urban university, it's not like I can sneak into the third-floor hallway and leave him some treats outside his room. Instead, I had to depend on the US Postal Service. So the other day I filled up one of those Priority Mail Flat Rate boxes with all kinds of yummy things--enough for him and his roommate and some friends to share--and sent it along, with a big note marked on there that said "Do not open until December 6."

It's not the same, but it will have to do.

Adventish and More

I was just looking back over the old Advent posts. And it seems that, every Advent, I don't get what I planned for. Maybe it's time to stop planning and just roll with it.
For the third year in a row, I am dealing with health concerns at this very busy, crazy time of year. How about that? Am I so insane that I must be forced to slow down?
It's entirely possible that without Instigator #1, the Advent table manners will improve. At least through December 17. After that, all bets are off, because all 3 kids will be home. But now I've got to rethink the whole "who gets to light and blow out the candle" thing. Maybe I'll delegate that job to Middle Sister and tell her to find a way to make it fair to everyone.
Things are chilly here at Chez SFO Mom; our heater cut out sometime Friday (when we weren't here) and yesterday the repairman came out to give us the bad news. While he was able to pronounce our last name with no difficulty whatsoever and even told us what it means in Polish (pine cone, in case you're wondering), he was not able to fix the furnace. It needs a part. His boss will order it. I wonder how long that will take. I bought a space heater for the family room and some wonderful friends lent us 4 more. When Middle Sister and I plugged those in, we blew a fuse. We are now only heating the family room.
I'll probably be baking a lot today. Yesterday I made Michelle's molasses crinkles, the chocolate-peanut butter cookies from the back of the Reese's peanut butter chips bag, and almond biscotti.

At Mass last night, Father H started his homily as he does most Advents: by asking us to contrast all the decorated, brightly-lit houses we'd passed on the way to church with the minimal decoration (Advent wreath and Jesse tree) in church. He made a good point--he said he was not going to rage against those who get into the Christmas hype early, because so much of our economy and so many people's livelihoods depend on that. BUT he encouraged us to remember the reason for THIS season.

So this morning I headed down to the basement and dug out what I need to get Advent started: the Advent wreath, the candles, the Nativity scene. I need to remember that I don't have any more candles left--a few years ago I was an overachiever and bought 3 sets all at once. I took the last box out today. Everyone's still sleeping. I think that I'll get things ready now, so when they wake up, they'll discover that Advent has come!

Saturday Miscellaneous--with a bunch of Christmas thrown in

• I'm thankful that my kids "get" that it's too early for Christmas decorations--and even Christmas music.  Yesterday I had Middle Sister in the car when I stopped at church to hang an announcement on the bulletin board.  She saw the "Giving Tree" in the church lobby.  "It's too early for Christmas trees," she told me.  Sure, I know you have to plan ahead with those Giving Trees, but it just doesn't feel right.  Our tree will go up, as usual, on Pink Candle Sunday.
• It's not too early, however, to enjoy a Christmas present from Big Brother, who bought tickets for me and TheDad for today's TransSiberian Orchestra concert.  TheDad bought 3 more tickets so the whole family can go together.  We'll all make a collective exception to the "no Christmas music before Advent" rule and enjoy the amazingly talented TSO.
• Sarah has Seven Advent Tips that are very good.  Listed among them:  wait to decorate!  Count me in as one who decorates gradually, throughout the season.  It works well for me and it brings Christmas gradually into the house instead of one big BANG on Black Friday.  Basically, here's how it goes:  First Sunday of Advent I bring out the Advent wreath, Christmas storybooks and the empty manger scene.  Nothing else.  Second Sunday of Advent I hang a few pine garlands around the house and put up some other decorations.  Pink Candle Sunday is Christmas-tree day.  Fourth Sunday of Advent, anything else--and animals (only) in the manger.  Christmas Eve:  Holy Family in the manger.  Christmas Day:  shepherds in the manger.  Epiphany:  Wise men in the manger.
• Speaking of Christmas Storybooks, this may be the first year I don't bring those out.  They're all picture books and no one in this house is still reading those.  I guess it's time to put them in a nice safe container and save them for when we have grandchildren.  And unlike Denise, I'm not ready for that to happen anytime soon.
• I've really got to get down to business and figure out the timing for the Thanksgiving Morning Cook-a-Thon.  I've done all of the "nonperishable" shopping and secured a promise from TheDad that he will get the kids off to school on Monday or Tuesday morning so I can go to ShopRite the second they open (7 AM) and avoid all the Amateur Shoppers who are in search of unusual Thanksgiving ingredients, but who have no clue how to even find the canned gravy and Red Delicious apples.  I'm banking on the hope that most of the Amateurs don't wake up that early.
• Too Good Not To Share:  Heidi's prayer for the Adventure Boys in her neighborhood.  Pray this one for Adventure Boys everywhere:  Heavenly Father, watch over all the children in my community whose parents aren’t there to influence their daily choices and habits. Give these children wisdom beyond their years, to protect their hearts from the evil one and his schemes. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit, Amen!

Gloria FTW!

I defy anyone to listen to Michael W. Smith's "Angels We Have Heard on High" and not have their spirits lifted.

Gaudete

So far, it's been a disappointing day. The high point was singing at Mass with the folk group; my schedule hasn't permitted that during the first 2 weeks of Advent and won't next weekend either. I'd much rather play than sit in a pew. (So would Big Brother, who is volunteering to attend Mass twice on Christmas Day--once because the 9 AM Mass is for his grandfather, so we're all going to that one, and then back for the 11 to play with the folk group.)

Otherwise, my mood is matching the rainy, cold, crummy weather.

I'd rather be watching Middle Sister's basketball game. But I am supposed to be stringing lights on the Christmas tree so that later we can decorate.

I'm not in a stringing-lights kind of mood. Not even with the Michael W. Smith "Christmas" album to motivate me.

I need to find a way to rejoice today, despite a rather difficult houseguest situation that is going to resolve itself in a "not a happy ending" kind of way very soon; despite the weather; despite all of it.

I can't let the Devil get the better of my Gaudete Sunday.

A stroke of genius

If I do say so myself.

I hated not to make the Advent paper chain this year, but I was really behind on brainstorming a special thing per day.

And I was dreading the whole "who gets custody of the Advent wreath" argument that we have EVERY SINGLE DAY for the entire season (in my book, that's part of the reason for the penitential purple).

So...I made the chain. But instead of writing in an activity for the day, I wrote in ONE name of a family member. That person gets to light the Advent candle before we say grace at dinner. That person also gets to blow the candle out. If that person is not home for dinner that night, Mom and Dad get candle duty. There will be no do-overs, trades or other alterations to the schedule. (The Great Oz has spoken. That would be me.)

I can't believe it took me this long to figure out an easy way to end all those candle arguments.

I don't want to fail Advent this year

There's been a lot of other stuff going on. I'm getting over the pre-Black-Friday craziness that goes along with my writing job, and I'm hoping that things stay calm as Christmas approaches. (OK, I can hope!)

We've got another year of "every piece of music until the Communion Song is new or almost-new" (things that were new last year in Advent count as almost-new, as singing them for only 4 weeks and then not all the rest of the year does not get you familiar with a song). That's frustrating and discouraging. And people can't sing along.

I've had some health concerns, which will be resolved soon. Gotta get through Christmas first, though. Nothing to get too worried about, unless you're me, because I'm a professional worrier.

So I did dig through the Christmas Closet in the basement. I have a weird closet in there. It's about 3 feet wide and 18 inches deep. I keep all the Rubbermaid tubs full of Christmas decorations in there, as well as Christmas wrapping paper. Nothing else would fit in there anyway, and this works well for me. Anyway, I found the Advent wreath, candles, and Nativity. That's all I need for tomorrow.

But usually I overachieve a little more during Advent. Usually I make the Advent paper chain, although looking back at last year, I didn't get that done then either. I think the kids missed it. I don't know if I have any purple paper. If not, maybe I'll just have to write with pink and purple marker on white paper and call it a day.

It's going to be a weird Advent. I'll only be singing one Sunday out of 4; this week we are "off" due to other folk-group members' vacation and work schedules. Next week is Big Brother's Eagle Scout ceremony, and I won't be able to sing at noon Mass and prepare for a 2:00 ceremony. So early Mass it is next week. Same for the last Sunday of Advent, which is our Greccio celebration with the Secular Franciscans. I'm going to need to be there earlier than a noon Mass would let me get there.

Now if only my kids would behave themselves around the candles, it'll be all good. I'm not betting on that, though. And I'm not looking forward to the fights over who gets to light (and blow out) the candles. Maybe I'll let the kids have a week at a time.

More Reasons

...why this may be the last year I put Real Candles in the Advent Wreath:




Match placement by Middle Sister.
Fire by Big Brother.
Heart attack by SFO Mom.

Advent: Where Table Manners and Fire Collide

As usual, my kids are finding ways to sink to a new low around the Advent wreath.

I'm spending a lot of time employing the Mom Glare in the vain hope that it will discourage the Big Kids from putting out the candle with a wet finger--mostly because I don't want Little Brother trying this.

And then, overheard tonight: "I like to put the candle out with my spit."

This is where we parents say the kinds of things we never thought we'd need to say: "No spitting on the Advent Wreath!"

Next year, I'm thinking we'll switch to battery-operated candles. They're not only safer, they're more hygienic.

We Never Get the Advent We're Hoping For

I've been noticing a theme among many of the moms whose blog I visit: this is not the Advent we had planned. For some of us, it's due to sick children; for others, there are other circumstances that have made this Advent not go as planned. (And we're only 4 days in!)

Jane observed,

I'm finding myself getting--not necessarily the Advent I hoped for--but in some ways, the Advent of quiet solitude and prayerful reflection perhaps I need.

I never thought I'd quote the Rolling Stones in a post about Advent--but Jane's thoughts sound suspiciously like

You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need.

Fr. Tommy Lane, a faculty member at Mount St. Mary's Seminary, observes,

"Sometimes we pray for what we want and instead God gives us what we need. What we need is not always what we want but God in his provident mercy gives us what we need."

So, I didn't get the Advent Chain done this year. I was late getting the stable and the wreath set up. And in many ways, I feel like I'm a few steps behind, and getting "behinder" at every turn.

It's Advent. Will we ever be truly ready? Probably not. Jesus came to a world that was certainly not ready for Him. There wasn't even any room in the inn in Bethlehem, and surely Mary wasn't too thrilled about making a census-related journey late in her pregnancy. Christmas will come whether or not we have found the perfect candles for our wreath or the perfect gift for our kids' teachers. We know this, because the first Christmas came in a less-than-perfect manner. Even the Grinch learned this lesson:

"'It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!...Maybe Christmas,' he thought, 'doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!'"

I think Advent is less about preparation and more about trust. "Preparation" implies that we are concentrating on the worldly, the material. "Trust" demands that we concentrate on our souls, let go of our need to have everything perfect, and reflect upon the beautiful gift of the first Christmas.

SFO Mom Fails Advent

As Big Brother would say, I failed.

We had company today and it was a very nice time. But I was busy focusing on getting dinner served...and not on getting that Advent wreath onto the table with candles ready to light. I also didn't get that empty manger onto the living room shelf.

I've got plenty to do tomorrow, including making up for what I did not get done today.

I guess birthday candles for one of our young visitors don't count toward Advent, do they?

Blessings of Advent

I dug through the Christmas closet and found the Advent wreath and the Nativity scene. Both will be placed in their usual spots tomorrow.

If you want to decorate your BLOG for Advent, just visit The Curt Jester and pick up his Advent wreath and Christmas counter! Just another free-of-charge service from one Catholic blogger to the rest of us. Thanks, Jeff!

Wishing you and yours a very blessed season.

It's Pink Candle Sunday!

Time to decorate the tree. But first I have to do the "check every bulb" thing and replace the ones that don't work, and in some cases unwind the entire string from the branches where we left it last year, and redo that section. If TheDad doesn't think the tree looks "X-rayed" when the lights are on, then I have not accomplished my mission. I think there are a dozen strings of lights on the tree.

Little Brother is driving us crazy wanting to unwrap the ornaments now. Middle Sister is going to the movies with a friend, and is a little put out that we said she had to be home by 7:30 so we can do the ornaments. Big Brother is ignoring all the proceedings, having fulfilled his first role of "Beast of Burden" carrying the tree inside. He'll get into it later when it's time to hang things on the highest branches.

I think it's time to put on some Christmas music. Maybe Mannheim Steamroller; maybe Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Something to string lights by.

Gaudete!

Get Ready!

The Minor Friar wants you to know that it isn't Christmas we're preparing for during Advent. It's something else altogether.

I didn't know that, but it does make sense. Listen to the readings at Mass--it will all fall into place.

Get ready! "You know not the day nor the hour."

Advent Thoughts

Today in church, Father spoke about how our church was starkly decorated in comparison with the homes in the neighborhood, which are already beautifully glowing. This is because, he said, the Church reminds us that we still have work to do--and that we cannot let empty beauty be a substitute for what is real, true and good.

Father Selvester expands on that same point here. What a wonderful reflection to help set the tone of Advent.