It's a Helicopter World

Ever since I have had children in school, I've refused to do their homework. My theory is, I've been to school. I did my homework. Now it's their turn.

My role is limited (by me) to purchasing necessary supplies, motivational nagging, withholding of video-game privileges and enforcement of deadlines, as well as occasional Typesetting Tech Support for kids old enough to use computers for projects. Oh yeah--no one without "teen" in their age is allowed to touch the hot-glue gun.

It was disheartening, but not surprising, to see the near-professional-quality "book reports in a box" that Little Brother's 3rd-grade class produced last week. This was some snazzy work that those 8-year-olds did, let me tell you.

Fortunately, Little Brother's teacher is also a parent. She wasn't swayed by flawless gluing and other superficials. A project by a third-grade boy is necessarily going to be less than gorgeous in quality. A couple of decorative bits might even fall off on the school bus on the way to school. Little Brother got a 100 on his obviously-homemade-by-a-3rd-grader project.

Those same parents who do their grade-school kids' book reports and science fair presentation boards move on to high school, where they are overheard saying things like this at report-card conferences: "I've seen all my kid's teachers. I think I'll go stand in line for the 4 teachers he'll have next semester and get to know them." (I'd love to see the face of the teachers when this guy tries that. It's what Back-to-School Night is all about, after all. Not report-card conferences for parents of current students.)

Rethinking

Sometimes you can go along for years believing that a certain person is right about certain things. Whether that's because you truly agree with them or because they exert an unhealthy influence over your opinion is not what I'm here to discuss (though it's definitely worth examining.)

And then you find out that this person is wrong--very, very wrong--about something.

Suddenly all those other things you accepted because this person said so, and you trusted them, are suspect as well.

It happens to all of us at some point--someone we'd put on a pedestal falls flat on the ground. Along with them falls all those so-called "truths" that they'd espoused, and of which they'd tried to convince you.

The disillusionment can be tough to take. And it can take a long time to go away. But when it does, a gift is left in its place. Yes, a gift. You are now given the gift of starting over, of looking to form a new opinion, your own opinion. You can have this gift as soon as you are willing to accept it. That means, sometimes, swallowing a little pride. It requires humility and an open mind. But in the end you will be better for the experience. And you get to look at so many things in a whole new way.

(Just for the record, the person I am discussing here is not my husband or any other family member. But beyond that, it doesn't matter who it is. What matters is that I'm letting go--and it's long past time for that.)

TMI, WSJ

You just can't make this stuff up.

Last night I drove Little Brother and Adventure Boy home from basketball practice. We were in TheDad's car, and he had tossed an old copy of the Wall Street Journal in the back seat.

The boys picked up the newspaper.

"There's no sports section in that one, guys," I told them.

"Yes, there is!" Then they read the headline: "First Baseman Aubrey Huff Wears Glitter-Flecked Red Underwear for Luck."

I did not need to know that. I imagine that within an hour or so, this story will be all over both boys' school buses.

Well Worth It

It's All Saints Day, and although the "Holy day of Obligation" was commuted in our diocese to Sunday, Middle Sister's school celebrated the feast day with a Mass this morning.

Little Brother's school celebrated with a prayer service this afternoon. They're having Mass later this week as well, in remembrance of the school's patron saint on Thursday.

So I'm a good bit off-schedule today. I attended both the Mass and the prayer service, which I would have skipped, but Little Brother's class was in charge of it and he had a big chunk of the Litany of Saints to read.

I'm glad I went to that prayer service, because I was very impressed by the deacon's reminders to the children that all of us are "saints in training." The kids were asked to think about ways they could be better family members, students, friends and teammates--all in the name of "what would the saints do?"

Little Brotherisms

Because there's only just so much longer that he'll be doing this.

--This morning at the bus stop: "Look! There's an airplane! You don't see that every day."

--After school, I asked him to stop tap-dancing while he ate his pop-tart. "Do you do this in school?" I wanted to know.
"No," he replied. "I hold the hyper in."

--On Halloween decorations: "Mom, we have no Halloween decorations!"
"So?" (We never do. Actually, this year we have 2 carved pumpkins, 4 uncarved pumpkins and 1 ceramic pumpkin. That's a big step up for us.)
"So no one will trick-or-treat at our house!"
"Sure they will. And if they don't, that's more candy for me."
"You mean more Milky Ways for you, Mom." (He knows me.)

Family-Friendly Service

Little Brother wants to be an altar server. Just in time, too, I thought--since Middle Sister really wants to be done with that. She's served faithfully, every single Sunday, for more than four years now. On the weekends once a month when we play at the Saturday night Mass, there is no server on Sunday at noon because Middle Sister isn't there to do it.

Little Brother and I approached Father about serving, but Father says he has to wait until next year when he's in fourth grade. So it's back to the folk group for Little Brother. Yes, he sits and sings with us most weeks. He's in the choir at school and he knows all the music. TheDad says that when we practice each Wednesday night in our living room, Little Brother is here in the family room singing along. We're family-friendly in the folk group.

Little Brother is not the only child who sits with the folk group. We have five kids among us, ranging in age from 10 down to 4. During the homily, one of the four-year-olds loudly asked his mom, "Is that God?"

Being a generally "blurry because he's always in motion" kind of kid, Little Brother can get a little wiggly at Mass sometimes. So on Sunday morning I was warning him ahead of time that he really should practice being more still and reverent, in preparation for the time when he becomes an altar server.

Then during the homily I let him sit in my lap. He's still my little boy, even if I can hardly get my chin over the top of his head and his heels bang on my shins.

And I felt kind of guilty shushing him after we said our final response and the deacon and Extraordinary ministers received Communion, and he whispered to me, "I can't wait until Communion, so I can be healed."

Clearly, he gets it. I think he's ready to serve, Father.

Prayer Before a Meeting

God, grant me the eloquence to say what is necessary,
the charity to speak the truth in love,
and the wisdom to know when to shut up.

Learning from My Mistakes

Someone famous once said that if we don't remember history, we are doomed to repeat it.

With that in mind, I declined Cubmaster Dad's generous invitation to stay at the Cub Scout Pack meeting tonight. 32 little boys with 16 basketballs in 1 gym is not my idea of a good time. And only the new kids are getting any awards, since all 13 of our new Scouts (yes, 13!) earned their Bobcat badge. So it's not like I need to be there to clap for Little Brother.

But most of all, I declined this invitation because of something I saw in the Shopping Bag of Cub Scout Meeting Supplies. Along with ropes for knot-tying practice, "Hello my name is" stickers for parents, and lots of pens, Cubmaster Dad had put several rolls of toilet paper.

I have very vivid memories of what happened last time someone brought toilet paper to a pack meeting. And someone still owes me Milky Ways for that time.

He now owes me some toilet paper, too--since he took all the extra rolls from both bathrooms.

Eco-loser

I tried. Really, I did. For several years now, I have put up with dim-and-getting-dimmer lighting in the family room and dining room. If I didn't turn on the dining-room light when I started cooking dinner, we wouldn't be able to see our food during the meal. And you couldn't read in the family room.

So this week, I kicked them out: all those compact-fluorescent lights we'd installed in those fixtures. At $7 per bulb, it was going to take a while to realize the energy savings when we had to turn them on earlier than we needed them in order for them to get halfway bright enough to use. Now I'm supposed to find a special disposal site for them, because apparently they're toxic waste, too.

Fortunately, I've been hoarding those good old incandescent bulbs (thank you, Thomas Edison!) I can switch on that dining-room light just as I switch off the kitchen stove, and it's nice and bright in there. (You could land a plane on my dining-room table if you had to.) I'll save the mood lighting for dates with TheDad at fancy restaurants. Although the dim lights were good for one thing: it was harder to see whatever Little Brother had spilled during the meal.

CFLs just do NOT work for me.

So On Target

I love the Zits comic. Even though my teenage son is away at college, I can relate to so much of this.

Like today's installment.  I AM THAT MOM.  And it's wearing me down.

You might have to click on the picture to view a larger version.

Problem-Solving

Yesterday, Little Brother's friend invited him to go to a local farmer's market; his family was going to get some pumpkins and Halloween decorations.

An hour later, the two boys came to the front door a huge pumpkin. This pumpkin has about the same diameter as a basketball, but it's half again as tall. That's a big, heavy pumpkin to carry up the hill.

For a minute, I wondered how they got it here. Then I saw the skateboard as the boys off-loaded the pumpkin and rolled it into place next to my front door.

I admired their creativity, ingenuity and resourcefulness. Now if I could only make sure that they use their powers for good, we'll be all set.

One Came Back

This is worth posting in its entirety. It's Father H's reflections on today's Gospel and the basis for his homily. Father H, our assistant pastor, publishes these reflections in each week's bulletin--which means he has them ready by 9 AM on Monday (impressive!)

The Word of God in the Life & Mission of Our Church
He was passing through Samaria and Galilee....He was met by lepers...one of them saw that he was healed...he turned back...he was a Samaritan. (Luke 17: 10-11;16)
Jesus is along the borders of two areas in the country. The Samaritans lived in one area. They were a despised and hated people by the rest of the country. Yet, it is the Samaritan, the despised one, who emerges as the ‘hero’ of the story. This is a complex story. Is Jesus speaking to a community’s deepest hatreds and painfully exposing them?
Certainly. This is also a story about two contrasting ‘faith traditions.’ The ‘nine’ in the story belonged to what they said was the ‘true faith.’ The Samaritan was regarded as affiliated to an ‘inferior-faith-tradition.’
The story follows in the heels of what we heard last week. The apostles ask Jesus to ‘increase their faith.’ Is the story about Jesus’ on-going discussion of the nature of ‘true-faith?’ Certainly.
Beyond faith and prejudice, the story is also about ways in which communities stigmatize and marginalize certain people. This aspect of the story hovers over the incident it describes. A clarification is in order. The more accurate description of the ‘ten’ in the story is ‘leprous persons.’ Leprosy, as we know it today, was first identified by Dr. Hansen in 1871. In the world of the Bible, a ‘leprous person’ could be any person afflicted with an unsightly skin condition such as ulcers, eczema, psoriasis, or ringworm.
One aspect of the story. It is about ten people in a deplorable human condition. They were stigmatized simply for who they were. Nine were of one ethnic, national, racial, and religious background. The Samaritan was of another background.
Did the nine, in some way, ostracize the Samaritan? Were they, sharing a common condition, able to overcome centuries of social animosity? Jesus thinks that they were not able to do so. He speaks of the Samaritan as a ‘foreigner.’
The Samaritan as ‘victim of victims?’ Maybe, in the story, when Jesus speaks of ‘wellness,’ He is speaking of deep-seated human divisions that are far more serious than being a ‘leprous person.’ The soul can be far more sick than the body. They did nothing to heal the breach.
Another aspect of the story. Jesus speaks of the ten as being ‘cleansed.’ The Gospels use three different words to describe Jesus’ healing work. The word used here gives us the English word ‘catharsis.’ Healing as a ‘cathartic experience?’ Perhaps a kind of healing of the soul or a healing of the spirit.
Another aspect of the story. Jesus instructs them to go to their priests. He is talking about a social system that insisted on the sole right to declare, sometimes arbitrarily, someone as ‘clean.’ Here is where the story can get a little subtle. Is Jesus challenging that system’s standards of ‘cleanliness?’ Is he saying: Go show yourself to them and they will see a new standard of judging these things is in place? Entrenched systems do not like to be challenged. Jesus is surely throwing
down the gauntlet.
Another aspect of the story. Where did the other nine go? Did they make a beeline back to the social system that once rejected them? Did they fail to see what really happened to them? They disappear from the pages of the Gospel. Is the reader/listener being asked to identify with the nine or the Samaritan?
Another aspect of the story. The Gospel is very careful to describe the Samaritan’s ‘return.’ Does his return imply that he was the only one who rejected one standard of ‘cleanliness-determination’ and accept the standards of Jesus?
Certainly. That word for ‘return’ in the Gospels suggests a person who has undergone a deep transformation in life, a change of mind and heart, and an approach to life from a new point of view. He is described as ‘praising God in a loud voice.’ That expression is used in the Gospels in stories where ‘demons’ are
driven out of a person. Without getting into ‘demonology’ in the Bible, suffice it to say that we are asked to imagine one ‘spirit’ leaving a person and another ‘spirit’ taking its place. He fell at the feet of Jesus. This is meant to impress the reader/listener with the depth of his self-renewal. His ‘worship’ of Jesus as the bearer of a unique revelation of God.
Jesus speaks of giving ‘thanks to God.’ The word for this in the Gospel gives us our English word ‘Eucharist.’ Thus, a ‘eucharistic’ thanks to God is everything that is implied or expressed in the response of the Samaritan to his ‘cleansing.’
The apostles asked for an ‘increase of faith.’ Jesus holds up a despised person as a model of faith thus offering still another aspect of an ‘increased faith.’

All of this got me wondering about something else, too. It is mentioned in the story that Jesus directed the ten newly-cleansed to go to their priests (for verification of their cleansed state.) Is it possible that the Samaritan who came back to Jesus did so because he considered Jesus his priest? Might that be the reason Jesus praised him and said that his faith is what had saved him.

The Alphabet Game

Little Brother is a big fan of the "alphabet game" where you look for a word beginning with A, then one beginning with B, and so on. We usually play it in the car, but one time when I had him at the mall (which I usually try to avoid) we played it there. The mall's a good place for the "alphabet game." Then we expanded to playing it at the diner, where their placemats advertise local businesses. You can't get past X at the diner, though.

A few minutes ago I picked up our church bulletin because I wanted to check the time of something. He practically grabbed it out of my hands: "I need that!" I made him wait the two minutes until I was finished, then left him to it. That was 10 minutes ago. I had no idea why he wanted the bulletin, until he just came over here and told me that he had gotten up to X.

Tiber River Review: Fatherless

Fatherless by Brian Gail is one of those compelling novels that you won't be able to put down. The novel challenges conventional thinking on several issues that our society faces today.

Set in the 1980s and '90s, this novel takes place in the Philadelphia, PA area. It chronicles the story of several families within a parish, as well as one of the parish priests ministering there.

Any particular era faces its own spiritual battles, and this one is no exception. The families that Father John encounters are enduring some of the typical temptations that all families face--and then some. The fathers in two of these families must make choices about earning their livelihood by working in an industry they find immoral. It was interesting to follow the very different paths each of these men took in their struggle with this issue. Another family struggles with a child whose problems are so deeply-rooted that they wonder whether she is mentally ill or even demonically possessed.

Meanwhile, the parish priest notices that some of the most faithful families within the parish are walking away and finding spiritual nourishment at a different (also Catholic) parish. This, along with the difficulties that the families above have asked him for guidance with, leads him to his own crisis of faith. He is an idealistic young priest (yet orthodox, unlike many "young priests" in novels) and struggles with questions of how he can best minister to the many different needs of the people in his congregation. He makes mistakes, but not out of malice--rather, those mistakes come more from inexperience.

I relish the chance to read a good novel, and Brian Gail did not disappoint with Fatherless. But my guess is that the target audience of this novel is rather narrow. This is the sort of book that "preaches to the choir," so to speak. If you're not ready to accept certain practices as immoral, you won't relate to the characters in this book. I wouldn't recommend this novel to someone with a different level of belief, hoping to change their hearts. For a faithful Catholic reader who would like a novel who speaks to their faith, this book is an excellent choice.

I wrote this review of Fatherless for the Tiber River Blogger Review program, created by Aquinas and More Catholic Goods. For more information and to purchase, please visit Aquinas and More Catholic Goods.

Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases.

A review copy of the book was provided to me. I did not receive other compensation for this review

He's On To Me

Little Brother has made some new friends. They are brothers who live down the street; one is a third-grader like Little Brother, and the younger one is in first grade.

I don't know these kids very well yet, so my M.O. is to allow everyone to play here, where I can keep an eye on things.

One recent day the whole neighborhood gang (5 third-graders and one first-grader) were in here fighting over a video game. I loudly declared a time limit on the game and let them know that they could play with other toys inside after that time, or go outside to play. They had fair warning, and then a five-minute warning, but when the game was over they were disappointed. So First-Grader wheedled, "You can come to my house...Resident Eeeevil!"

I'm not one to keep up on video games. So I checked in with Big Brother, who's proved to be a good judge of what games, movies and songs are appropriate for someone Little Brother's age. He told me that the game is so violent, TheDad wouldn't let him buy it at all. (Normally, the rule for our 18-year-old is: you can buy the game or movie, but you can't use it when Little Brother is awake.) So this one's got to be pretty bad.

I figured, at that point, that Little Brother won't be at that house playing games. If they're going to ride bikes and kick soccer balls outside, that's fine. So today, First-Grader came up the street looking for Little Brother (who was still in his school uniform.) While Little Brother changed his clothes, I asked First-Grader what they planned to do. "We're going to my house to play video games," he replied, and before I could say any more, he continued, "my violent games are all for PlayStation, and that's broken. But I have one game for my DS. It's rated M. We can play my DS. All my other games are rated T."

"Little Brother isn't allowed to play games that are rated T or M," I told him. "You guys are going to have to find something else to do."

How scary--this child knows that he has violent video games. And he tried to play me by telling me that those aren't available. Scarier still, he tried to get me to let Little Brother play at his house where the adults permit six-year-olds to play games rated M.

Like that'll happen.

Thanks for Clearing That Up

Today is the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. Sarah at Snoring Scholar has a ton of Rosary posts this month--her own, as well as some wonderful guest authors'--so don't miss it!

Little Brother's school is celebrating the day as it should be: beginning with a Mass, then a schoolwide Living Rosary. Little Brother carefully packed the Rosary he received for his First Communion (a blue one--how appropriate!) into his schoolbag this morning, as he is one of the beads.

"Remember, Mom--9:00," he reminded me as we headed to the bus stop.

"I'll be there," I promised. Then, noticing the chill in the air, "Is the Living Rosary inside or outside?"

"It's outside. Or inside. It's either in the church, or the cafeteria, or on the playground."

Good to know. I guess I'll bring a jacket, just in case.

Knock, and the Door Might Be Opened to You. Eventually.

Little Brother asked me if I had a couple of large cardboard boxes that he could take to school. His class is working on a skit and they need the boxes for props. Or costumes. I'm not sure which.

I found a couple of boxes for him, and I told him that when I go to library today, I'd bring the boxes with me and drop them off in the hallway near his classroom door.

"Just bring them in," he told me.

"No, I'll leave them by the door. I don't want to interrupt your teacher."

We went around and around like that for a while and then he thought about what time I'd be arriving at school, and realized that he won't even be in the classroom at that point--he'll be in Spanish.

"So my teacher won't be busy! You can knock on the door and bring the boxes in."

"What if she's not there? What if she went down to the office?"

"Well, then, you can wait."

(Or I can leave the boxes in the hallway, like I originally planned to do.)

Cuteness

Two eight-year-olds, walking up the driveway on a cloudy day, their heads deep in their hoodie sweatshirts.

On This Feast

Today we celebrate the feast of Saint Francis of Assisi. And while he's well-known for the "Peace Prayer," my favorite Franciscan prayer is the Prayer Before the Cross:

Most high, all-glorious, good God,
Bring light to the darkness of my heart.
Give me right faith, firm hope, and perfect charity,
With wisdom and insight, O Lord,
That I might always discern
Your holy and true will.

And my favorite Franciscan motto:  While we have time, let us do good.

Blessings to you on this feast of Francis!

What's Not to Know?

I've been browsing around on some hardware-store websites, trying to find some light bulbs for the lights in the family room. (They're high-hats, and incandescent bulbs heat up too fast and blow out in 10 minutes. But the CFLs never get bright enough to read by.)

One of the websites had a place to enter my zip code so I could check store availability. When I clicked on the link for that, a little box popped up with a place to enter my zip code--or I could check another link: "I don't know my zip code."

Really? Are there people who can access a website and search for a product without knowing their zip code? I'd like to meet them.

Then again, maybe I wouldn't like to meet them. Yikes!

Catholic Company Revew: Grace Before Meals

This book is definitely a keeper!

I used to own an earlier edition of Grace Before Meals. Before I had the chance to try many of the recipes in it, I did something I almost never do: I gave it away. That's because I thought that the advice on building family life was so important and so useful, I wanted to share it with someone I felt could benefit from it.

But after I enjoyed Father Leo Patalinghug's appearance on Bobby Flay's Throwdown,  I was wishing I had his book so I could try more of his recipes.  And when I found out that his winning fajita recipe would be featured in the new edition of Grace Before Meals, I figured I'd wait until this edition came out before I replaced that book I gave away.

This book is worth the purchase price for the fajita recipe alone.  They are seriously delicious and seriously easy to make.  Best of all, they don't call for any exotic ingredients that can't be found at your regular grocery store.  I've got a Post-It flag on the page for the fajita recipe, because I make it every few weeks.

But I don't consider the recipes the star of the show in this cookbook.  Subtitled "Recipes & Inspiration for Family Meals & Family Life," I think that Father Leo's reflections on family life and how it can be strengthened around the dinner (and breakfast) table are really what makes this book a standout.

This would be a great gift for any family!

This review was written as part of The Catholic Company product reviewer program. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on Grace Before Meals.  Also be sure to check out their selection of baptism gifts.
I received a review copy of this book, but no other compensation, for the purposes of this review.

Geographically Challenged

Little Brother saw a commercial for the Baseball Hall of Fame, and he begged me to take him there. Middle Sister saw that the Hall of Fame is located in New York, so she figured we could piggyback the trip to Cooperstown with a visit to a friend of hers.

"Is Cooperstown in, like, upstate?"

"Everything but New York City and Long Island is upstate," I told her. "I'll show you where Cooperstown is."

Google maps pinpointed the location, and I showed Middle Sister where the Hall of Fame is in relation to New York City. Then I asked her where her friend lives. "Oh, somewhere around here," she said, pointing to a random spot near Cooperstown. On the map, the words "NEW YORK" were spread across the center of the state.

"I can't remember the city," she mused, "but I know he's only, like, two letters away."

"That's why I want you to take that geography class before you graduate high school," I informed her.

Novena to St. Francis of Assisi

Novena to St. Francis of Assisi

Pray once a day for nine days, beginning on 25 September and ending on 3 October, the eve of the Feast of St. Francis.

Glorious Saint Francis, who voluntarily renounced all the comforts and riches of thy home to follow more perfectly the life of poverty and abnegation of Jesus Christ: Obtain for us, we pray, a generous contempt of all things in this world, that we may secure the true and eternal things of heaven.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and will be forever, world without end. Amen.

O glorious Saint Francis, who during the whole course of thy life continually wept over the passion of the Redeemer, and labored most zealously for the salvation of souls: Obtain for us, we pray, the grace of weeping continually over those sins by which we have crucified afresh Our Lord Jesus Christ, that we may attain to be of the number of those who shall eternally bless His supreme mercy.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now and will be forever, world without end. Amen.

O glorious Saint Francis, who, loving above all things suffering and the Cross, merited to bear in thy body the miraculous stigmata, by which thou became a living image of Jesus Christ crucified: Obtain for us, we pray, the grace to bear in our bodies the mortifications of Christ, that we may merit one day to receive the consolations which are infallibly promised to all those who now weep.

"If we be dead with Christ Jesus, we shall live also with Him," says the Apostle; "if we suffer, we shall also reign with Him."

Pray for us, Saint Francis, that we may obtain the graces and favors we ask for in this novena; pray for us, especially, that we may obtain the grace of perseverance; of a holy death and a happy eternity.

Pray an Our Father, a Hail Mary, and a Glory Be five times.

Temper, Temper--and Keep it Simple, SFO!

My printer is acting up. It doesn't want to feed the paper I'm trying to put into it. And it's no small irony that my frustration level is rising to the point of using bad language...while I'm trying to print out a Novena to St. Francis of Assisi for my SFO fraternity.

I was trying to put it on some nice, thick, pretty paper, but the printer was having none of it. I'm guessing that Father Francis would be much more pleased that I wound up just using ordinary, run-of-the-mill printer paper. Simplicity will always win out in the end.

Once I took out the thick paper and returned the regular paper to the printer, everything went well.

That should teach me a few things.

(And I'll have that Novena up here for its beginning on the 25th! Won't you join me and my fellow Franciscans in praying a Novena this year?)

Deer and Dogs and Rosaries

On the third Friday of each month, members of my Secular Franciscan fraternity meet to pray a Franciscan Crown Rosary for the intention of the protection of the unborn and healing for post-abortive mothers.

Last night, due to circumstances beyond my control, I brought Little Brother with me to the Rosary.

If weather permits, we pray outdoors at a little Blessed Mother statue at the back of the church. Last night's weather was beautiful, and just before we began to pray, I looked over behind the parish office building and saw several deer. I pointed them out to Little Brother and my fellow Franciscans.

We counted at least seven of them before they all ran off a few moments later. They were so beautiful and graceful--and some of them were babies, so cute!

Little Brother wasn't sticking with the Rosary too well, and I wasn't about to force him, but he did wander over a few times and pray a few prayers with us. I was using my seven-decade Rosary, but I also had my very beautiful "Mary's Month" Rosary with me, so I passed that one to him. A few of the people present didn't want to be decade leaders, so I asked him if he'd lead the final decade.

And he did. I was so proud! And afterwards, all the other Seculars (all grandmothers, and some even great-grandmothers) made a big fuss over how well he did.

In the car going home, I told him how proud I was that he helped us pray the Rosary. After a moment, he changed the subject. I guess he was seizing the moment: "Mom, can I get a beagle?"

"No, bud."

"But they're so cute!"

"And they howl at the moon..."

"No, they don't! They're not werewolves!"

"Yes, they do. It's called baying. Believe me, they do."

"No, they're praying. They pray to their God. He's an awesome God and he likes dogs. Not like you."

Well, I guess he told me! But he's still not getting a dog, even if it is the praying kind.

Happy Are We

On Sunday morning, instead of playing in the folk group at our parish, our family attended the "welcome freshmen" Mass at Middle Sister's high school. We had the unusual experience of all sitting together instead of having one altar-serving, some in the folk group, some in the pew.

Little Brother poked me just before Communion, and given his propensity for asking odd questions in church, I was a little concerned about what he might say this time.

But this time it was a good thing. Father had just said, "Happy are we who are called to this table."

"I'm called to this table," Little Brother told me proudly.

Yes, you are. And I hope you're always this happy about that.

Geek Out

I'm such a geek.

Last year the school librarian taught me how to enter books into the library's computerized version of what used to be called a "card catalog." (I used to type the index cards for actual card catalogs when I worked in a library during high school!) This involved using Mac computers, with a whole new operating system, not to mention the software for the library program.

So I made myself a little one-page "cheat sheet" to make it easier to remember these instructions week to week--not like I even had the opportunity to get to this task each week, so I didn't have enough time to really get familiar with the job.

Now I have a Kindle, and some handy-dandy software that allows me to convert .PDF files to ebook format. I also have some other handy-dandy software that allows me to make .PDF files by copy-and-pasting from WORD. So I took that WORD document, changed it into a .PDF, then changed that into an ebook, which I promptly imported into the Kindle.

I'm a proud geek tonight.

Friday Five: School's In Edition

Just what's on my mind this week:

1. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the new art teacher at Little Brother's school, who sent home a note today asking for each child to bring an old, oversized T-shirt to school to use as a smock. My kids have ruined more uniform shirts in art class because the previous art teacher never had the kids cover up. I've never met this art teacher and I like her already!

2. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the pastor at Little Brother's school, who told the student body this morning, "I usually say this to people getting married, but since all of you are going to be priests or nuns, I'm going to teach you this right now." Way to go, Father, for this vocation plug. Sure, it was lighthearted, but any way the idea gets into the kids' heads that this is a good, acceptable, desirable thing is good in my book.

3. I'm looking forward to being the Tuesday Morning Library Helper at Little Brother's school. This will be my fourth year at the library. If you, like me, want to help out at your kids' school but are put off by PTA cliques, I encourage you to find another way to volunteer. In my case, it was in the library and I have a great time there.

4. Thank you, thank you, thank you to Middle Sister's school for hosting a classy Freshman Parent Meeting on the first day. Unlike Big Brother's Freshman Parent Meeting four years ago, this one did not feature designer alcoholic beverages. (I'm thinking that the current principal is not so interested in schmoozing at this event!) Instead, we had "geographical breakout sessions" designed to help parents organize after-activites carpools and just get to know each other. Nice job!

5. Big Brother sends me, on average, 1 text message per day. At least I know he's alive out there in Philly. And sometimes those messages are unsolicited by me. I miss hearing from him more regularly, but that's the breaks, I guess. Big Brother, if you're reading, take pity on your poor mom and give me a call or send an email! I'm not so fabulous at the whole text-message thing, though my skillz are improving.

Magic School Bus

In my experience, it's never good when you pick up the phone in the middle of the school day and hear your third-grader's voice saying, "Hi, Mom!"

Instantly, the Maternal Worry Radar starts. What could it be? Bellyache? Another Head Lice False Alarm?

"What's the matter, buddy?"

"There's no choir today."

(pause)

"I didn't know there was choir today."

(pause)

"There isn't."

"OK, I guess I'll see you at the bus stop then! Love you, buddy!"

"Bye, mom."

I'm thinking he was fishing for a car ride home, but oh well...my tax dollars are paying for school buses for my two school-aged children and only one of them has been getting a bus ride this week*, so the one who does have a bus to ride is going to ride the thing!

(For some reason, the Transportation Office of our public school district can't get it together and send Middle Sister's bus. She is freaking out--she's a freshman, and the bus is not coming each morning, and she's standing out there for 30 minutes waiting for it. Yesterday's excuse was, "We thought her school started on Thursday!" Well, today's Thursday, and there was still no bus. And I couldn't call to complain, because the office is closed for the Jewish holiday.)

It's the Little Things

I found this article "How to Practice Mortification without Outing Yourself as a Catholic" via Lisa, Franciscat, who posted it on facebook. It's got 5 suggestions for little ways to help you grow in your spiritual life, without being all obvious about it. After all, "when you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full." (Matthew 6:16)

You don't have to wait until Lent to fast--even from little things. This article is worth the read--and it's even got some humor in it.

When I Become Principal

Not in this lifetime, but for the purposes of this rant...

I spent about an hour after Little Brother got home from school today dealing with all the paper he brought home. Not to mention all the stuff that was on the website that I had to print out, fill in and send back--and the $73 in checks that had to go in as well.

But I digress. I'm here to rant about forms.

I had to fill in a whole bunch of forms today. That in itself is not so bad, but it's all the duplication that gets me. That, and having to write my last name multiple times.

Wouldn't it be easier, since almost all of this paper is going to live in the main office anyway, if there were one form with several sections instead of separate forms for all of these:

Basic Information Form (name, address, phone, email, student day of birth, parents' work and cell phones, 2 emergency contacts, bus number, parish & sacrament information, doctor's name, hospital preference, insurance company number, special health considerations, signature)

Nurse's Information Form (name, address, phone, parents' work & cell phones, "which parent do we call first," 2 emergency contacts, doctor's name, special health considerations, "has your child received immunizations this past year")--note that all but 2 of these are covered in the Basic Information Form

Family Directory Form (name, address, phone, email, "do you want to be in the directory")

Permission to use child's photo on school website or in newspaper articles/ads

Technology Acceptable Use Policy

My last name is 12 letters long, with lots of pesky consonants. I have the feeling that if school administrators had a last name like mine, they'd be less likely to require all these separate forms with separate signatures.

Hello, new school year! Hello, writer's cramp!

8-Year-Old Insults

Apparently, to these guys, this was the acme of insult today.

Adventure Boy: "I don't get every one thing I want. That's being spoiled!"

Little Brother: "You're spoiled!"

Adventure Boy (triumphantly): "Your face is spoiled! Burrrrrrrrrrrrn!"

High School, Round Two

In only 7 more days, Middle Sister will begin her high-school career.

She is different from her older brother in so many ways, and she fiercely wants to be independent. There is nothing she wants less than to hear someone tell her that Teacher X doesn't like athletes who leave her class early to go to games, even though she has Teacher X last period every day. To her, these are intrusions, not helpful hints. She wants to find things out on her own.

That's hard for parents, older brothers, and even friends of older brothers to handle. What we might consider helpful advice is, to her, some kind of hint that she can't handle things on her own.

For the record, I watched her play goalie on the freshman field-hockey team on Saturday. She's new to the sport. She managed 7 saves on 9 attempts, so only 2 goals got through. Middle Sister has a lot of energy and a lot of heart. She's going to do well through sheer determination.

It's going to be hard not to handle Middle Sister's high-school years the same way I handled her older brother's. While she's happy to hijack his old high-school sweatshirts, she's not interested in hand-me-down advice.

This might be Round Two for us in this high school, but it's a whole new era for Middle Sister.

A Bigger Responsibility

This week I was reminded of what I am expected to be as a Secular Franciscan. Someone asked a church-related question and I was expected to be the one with the answer.

"I don't have any corner on this market," I protested.

"You're the one with the cross (meaning the Tau). We depend on you for this. You're the closest thing to Grammy that we have," her daughter-in-law replied.

Sometimes we might think that being a Secular Franciscan is all for ourselves. But it's not--in the same way as being a Catholic is not all for ourselves either. "Preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words" was the guidance Francis gave the early Friars.

We wear our Tau as a sign of our faith. But wearing that sign means that we are expected to LIVE our faith, to KNOW our faith and to SHARE our faith. We're not meant to grow just for our own personal benefit, but to reach out to others as well. It's part of being "salt for the earth and light for the world," as we are all called to be.

Francis certainly took time for solitude, but he was no hermit. He lived in community, but he was no monk. Instead, he reached out to those around him. That is what we, too, are called to do--even when we are "out of uniform." Those who know who we are expect it of us.

The Countdown is Over

Tomorrow Big Brother is off to school.

The weather promises rain--and it's been raining all day. Go figure, the first rain we've really gotten this summer. I won't be able to strap a footlocker to the top of the van in the rain. So it looks like we'll be taking 2 cars to move him in to the dorm, since his electric bass and lots of other things take up a lot of room.

The favorite dinner has been cooked and eaten, and right now about 15 teenagers are noisily hanging around my living room, so nobody's going to get much sleep tonight.

People are telling me to have lots of tissues handy. That's not how I roll. I'll just keep busy. Busy, busy. Then I won't have to think about anything or worry. Busy, busy.

It's going to be very different around here. Last time I bought chicken for the freezer, I packed it in meals for 4 instead of meals for 5. That's going to be our reality. Not sure I'm ready for that reality, but it's here.

Teach Your Children Well

I try to teach my children to do the right thing.

Little Brother is doing pretty well. He'll hold the door for lines of people--sometimes it seems we may never get inside where we're going because he's too busy holding the door for the people behind us.

So today he and I were at the store, and there were two cash registers right next to each other. While I was paying, I happened to look down and saw that the customer who had just been beside me had dropped some money on the floor. She was almost out the door with her purchases at that point.

"Wait!" I called after her. Then I instructed my son, "Little Brother, please pick up that money and give it to the lady who dropped it. She's by the door."

The lady made some joke to the cashier who had helped her about being so rich that she could afford to leave her money on the floor in the store. But she didn't even bother to thank Little Brother for helping her out.

But the man with an empty shopping cart who was on his way to return the cart to the store, who stopped to hold the door for me and Little Brother, was more than polite when Little Brother took the door handle and told him to go in first with his cart. I think Little Brother was thanked five times.

Oh well. Part of teaching your children to do the right thing is teaching them to do the right thing without expecting a thank-you in return. After all, in the Gospel story, only one came back.

Maybe It's Time to DIY

Money doesn't grow on trees, kids.

There's an article in my local paper today in which a teenager and his dad lament the closure of a skateboard park in a nearby town. They imply unfair treatment of skateboarders by local police and whine that people don't accept the skaters because they look/dress/act different. And because the skateboard park was closed (due to unsafe conditions) in December, this teen seems to believe that the police shouldn't bother skaters who want to take their tricks to Main Street, which is crowded with shops, pedestrians, and car traffic.

It's nice to have a park where you can practice your skating and enjoy your friends' company. But it's not your right to have that park--and if the park is no longer available to you, it's not your right to break the law and skate in the middle of a crowded downtown area.

Money's tight. It's time that towns (and school districts, states, and the nation) learn to live within their means. It's time that the people entrusted with public funds be more careful about how they choose to spend those funds. And it's time that we stop expecting our towns (and school districts, states, and nation) to provide facilities for us to practice every single niche sport that exists.

The teenager in the article I read today is 17. He's old enough to respectfully approach the township officials and find out what needs to be done before his favorite park can reopen. He's old enough to organize a fund-raiser or get his friends together to work on cleanup or construction, and even to make a commitment to the kind of ongoing maintenance a skate park requires.

Instead of whining about the lack of a place to play, and taking his games to Main Street, this young man could be channeling his energy into finding solutions to the problem. If that happened, chances are good that people wouldn't continue to misjudge him and his fellow skaters, but rather admire their initiative and civic spirit.

I'll end with a quote from the movie Robots: "See a need, fill a need."

Sharing New Media

In an effort to get the word out as to what's out there for Catholics who use computers, I have volunteered to supply one link per week for my parish bulletin, along with a short description. I'll be linking to podcasts, websites and apps. All of them will be previewed before I recommend them and I'm looking for a good sampling so that there's something for everyone.

Here are the first ones I have submitted.

8/22 Among Women Podcast

Features conversations with Catholic women from all walks of life; faith-sharing and faith-building. Each weekly podcast also includes information about a saint who brings inspiration to our lives. Podcasts are downloadable audio files; you can listen to them on your computer or mp3 player.

8/29 In Between Sundays Podcast

A podcast for young-adult Catholics, discussing how to live as a Catholic in the world outside of church. Their Facebook page allows listeners to connect with and support each other.

9/5 The Deacon's Bench

A permanent deacon in the diocese of Brooklyn, NY includes homilies, interviews, Catholic news items and inspirational stories along with some fun stuff in this blog. Updated often and always interesting.

9/12 Catholic Mom

Catholic author Lisa Hendey hosts this site, which includes a podcast, book reviews, Sunday gospel activities for children, and articles by a host of columnists and contributors. You'll also find reflections on the daily Mass readings, weekly fiction features, and giveaways of Catholic books and CDs.

9/19 Divine Office

Want to learn to pray the Liturgy of the Hours without the confusion of a big prayer book? This free website provides the daily prayers in both written and audio versions. The Liturgy of the Hours is the daily prayer of the Church and is not just for priests and deacons; everyone can participate in these prayers. There's also a free app for your iPhone or iPod.

9/26 Faith & Family Live
This group blog is more than just a collection of essays; it's open for comments so it becomes a discussion. Topics include parenting, education, homemaking, working, book reviews, a weekly podcast and more. There's also a print magazine: Faith and Family.

10/03
Rosary Army
Learn how to make all-twine knotted Rosaries; download free mp3 files of the Rosary, Stations of the Cross and other topics. Hosted by a young family of seven.

10/10 Grace Before Meals
Join Father Leo as he presents recipes for delicious food and ideas on strengthening family life. Sign up for his free weekly newsletter or watch online videos of his program.

10/17 QuoteCatholic
"A collection of the best, coolest, inspiring, most thought-provoking and wise Catholic quotes on the world wide web," according to founder Matt Warner. Organized by topic. Sign up for a daily quote via email or Twitter.

10/24
Catholic Tech Tips
Catholic Tech Tips was created to help teens use new media technologies to share their faith and love of Christ with others — and to maybe learn some life skills at the same time. It's not just for kids; parents can learn too!

10/31 Saint of the Day
This site, hosted by the Franciscans and St. Anthony Messenger Press, features a daily mini-biography of the saint whose feast we celebrate on that date. There's also an iPhone app, including audio and a searchable calendar.

NOV. 7
iPadre

Podcast, a blog and more by a priest in the Diocese of Providence, RI.  This priest even has his own iPhone app!


NOV. 14
Summa This, Summa That

A group blog on Catholicism, culture, politics and more.  There's plenty to learn and plenty to consider.


NOV. 21
Catholic Foodie

“Where food meets faith”—this site includes recipes and highlights how good food can be a sign of God’s love for us and our families.  There’s a podcast you can download as well.


12/4
Father JC Maximilian

Father "JC Maximilian" is a priest of the Diocese of Trenton.  He posts his Sunday homilies on his blog as well as "Liturgical Footnotes" that cover different aspects of the Mass.  Updated about twice a week.

12/11
O Night Divine

Crafts, foods, and activities for parents and children to share during the season of Advent.

12/18
Advent and Christmas resources at Catholicmom.com

Prayers, projects, coloring pages, recipes, website links, and suggestions for books and music families can enjoy together during Advent and Christmas.


1/15
Catholic Culture

Gives faithful Catholics the information, encouragement, and perspective they need as they work to shape an authentically Christian culture in a secular world.


1/29
Catholic TV

This online TV site presents diocesan television programs from throughout the USA, including the Diocese of Trenton. Watch videos online or on your iPod--no cable TV required.

2/5
Pray as You Go

Daily downloadable prayer podcasts, with music, for your MP3 player. You can also listen from your computer. Lasting 10 to 13 minutes, each podcast contains music, questions for reflection and Scripture.

2/12
Exceptional Marriages

Features resources religiously-committed Catholics need to live more faithful and abundant marriage, family, and personal lives. Links to radio programs, blogs, book suggestions, quizzes and more.

2/19
Daily With DeSales

Visit this site at the beginning of each day! Consider how St. Francis de Sales can help you to pursue a practical path to holiness precisely in the state and stage of life in which you find yourself.

2/26
Catholic News Agency

On the web, facebook, and twitter, reporting news from the Vatican as well as news of interest to Catholics in the USA and abroad. Links to daily Mass readings, saint of the day, and more.

3/5
Digital Resources for Lent

Free printable Stations of the Cross, examination of conscience, guides to understanding the Mass readings, and devotional materials.



If you have ideas for others that I can recommend to my parish, I'd appreciate your input.

Because She Can

I've got no other explanation.

I left the house for an hour to attend Little Brother's Vacation Bible School closing performance. When we returned, I found some onion peels on the floor, and the kitchen smelled like onion. Busy with lunch, I didn't ask about it.

But Middle Sister told me anyway. "I cut up an onion before," she declared. "I wanted to see if I would cry."

"Oh...so what did you do with it after you cut it up?"

"Well, some of it fell on the floor, so I threw it away."

"That's too bad. I could have used it in tonight's dinner. Later, you can cut up another one for me."

She agreed, announcing proudly, "It made me cry, too!"

So she can cry again later. Saves me from having to do it.

Strangest Bible-School Snack EVER II

Because last year's edible rendition of the plagues wasn't bad enough.

This year's Vacation Bible School featured a story about a leper (I'm not sure which leper story, but that doesn't matter). In keeping with VBS tradition, the snacks are an edible craft that represents the story du jour.

On the day they learned about the leper, the kids had cookies with icing for their snack. Each child got two cookies. One cookie just had icing. The other cookie had icing and sprinkles.

Guess what the sprinkles were supposed to represent?

Ick.

Little Brother may never look at sprinkles the same way again.

Book Review: Our Jewish Roots

If you're a Catholic woman who wonders where many of our Catholic practices and customs came from, you'll be interested in reading Cheryl Dickow's book, Our Jewish Roots.

This book traces many things that we take for granted as uniquely Catholic back to their Jewish origins. We learn about the beliefs, practices and customs of the Jewish faith and see how many of these were incorporated into our own Catholic lives--always remembering that Jesus, after all, didn't come to make people abandon the Jewish faith but to fulfill its promises.

Part 2 of the book is a fascinating study of women of the Bible, relating their struggles, challenges and achievements to those we face in our own lives and showing us how these women of faith can inspire us today.

Our Jewish Roots ends with a section of questions for reflection, which would work for a group study or individual journaling.

If the mark of a good book is that it leaves you wanting more, then this is a very good book. The book is a fine mixture of information to be learned and ideas to be reflected upon. After reading it, you will know more--and you'll be inspired to keep learning more; you'll want to reread those sections of Scripture that are mentioned in the book to increase your knowledge and deepen your faith.

I have already recommended this book to several of my fellow Secular Franciscans who are interested in faith and history, as well as to a friend with similar interests.

A review copy of this book was provided to me. I was not financially compensated for this review.

Really?

There are 5 kids in my family room playing with Perler beads. They're helping each other find the colors they want.

"I need a white one. White goes with every color."

"So does black, for color-blind people."

Tiber River Review: The Rosary Workout

Me?  Read a book about exercise?

Anyone who knows me is well aware that this is a laughable concept.  I'm not much for exercise--and my waistline shows it.  So I figured it was time to look into ways to make exercise more tolerable.

The Rosary Workout encourages the reader to make the most of multitasking in a good way--by combining exercise such as walking with praying the Rosary.  Yes, it can be done--I've tried it.  But I hadn't even considered it before reading this book.

Where it works:  there's a good explanation of both healthy habits and the prayers of the Rosary.  Author Peggy Bowes encourages the reader to just get started, wherever they are in their fitness and/or spiritual journeys, and gives a reasonable timetable for progress.  There is plenty of information on how to enhance your prayer life through the Rosary and on incorporating the Rosary into different types of exercise routines.

Where it doesn't:  the whole 9-choirs-of-angels thing, in which Bowes tried to apply these levels to both expertise in prayer and physical fitness, fell flat for me.  I think there was too much going on in there.

Putting it into practice:  I can pray a Rosary on a 1-mile walk to the convenience store to buy my Sunday paper.  If only I could manage to do that without winding up with shin splints!  My personal hint:  use a finger rosary; it's much easier to manage when you're moving around, and you've got the other hand free for your water bottle (important in the summer, especially!)  Save the full set of Rosary beads for Adoration.

I wrote this review of The Rosary Workout for the Tiber River Blogger Review program, created by Aquinas and More Catholic Goods. For more information and to purchase, please visit Aquinas and More Catholic Goods.

Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases.

This is a non-compensated review. A review copy of the book was provided to me.

Promises, Promises

This morning Little Brother was a little more than rude to me, so I told him that he was not allowed to play any Wii games for the rest of the day. He and TheDad just rented a new game, so this was hitting where it hurt.

Now he is whining because TheDad had promised to play this new game with him after dinner tonight.

Would someone care to explain to Little Brother that I am not breaking a promise by refusing to let him play this game with TheDad?